The Ashleys Sing How Do You Solve a Problem Like Spinelli

The Ashleys were standing in front of their clubhouse.

Ashley A:

''She climbs a tree And scrapes her knee Her dress has got a tear

[SOPHIA] She waltzes on her way to mass And whistles on the stair

[BERTHE] And underneath her wimple She has curlers in her hair!

[SOPHIA] I even heard her singing in the abbey

[BERTHE] She's always late for chapel

[MARGARETTA] But her penitence is real

[BERTHE] She's always late for everything Except for every meal''

''[MOTHER ABBESS] I hate to have to say it But I very firmly feel

[BERTHE AND SOPHIA] Maria's not an asset to the abbey!

[MARGARETTA] I'd like to say a word in her behalf Maria makes me laugh!

[SOPHIA] How do you solve a problem like Maria?

[MOTHER ABBESS] How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

[MARGARETTA] How do you find a word that means Maria?

[BERTHE] A flibbertigibbet!

[SOPHIA] A will-o'-the-wisp!''

''[MARGARETTA] A clown!

[MOTHER ABBESS] Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her Many a thing she ought to understand

[MARGARETTA] But how do you make her stay And listen to all you say

[MOTHER ABBESS] How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

[MARGARETTA] Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?

[MOTHER ABBESS] How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

[MARGARETTA] When I'm with her I'm confused Out of focus and bemused And I never know exactly where I am

[SOPHIA] Unpredictable as weather She's as flighty as a feather''

''[MARGARETTA] She's a darling

[BERTHE] She's a demon

[MARGARETTA] She's a lamb

[SOPHIA] She'd out-pester any pest Drive a hornet from its nest

[BERTHE] She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl

[MARGARETTA] She is gentle She is wild

[SOPHIA] She's a riddle

[MARGARETTA] She's a child

[BERTHE] She's a headache!

[MARGARETTA] She's an angel!

[MOTHER ABBESS] She's a girl

[ALL NUNS] How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Maria? A flibbertigibbet? A will-o'-the-wisp? A clown

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her Many a thing she ought to understand But how do you make her stay And listen to all you say? How do you keep a wave upon the sand? Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?''